The importance of hearing God in our marital relationship

Hearing God’s word is vital in a Christian’s journey. God’s word is described as a lamp to our feet and a light to our path

Psalm 119:105 King James Version (KJV)

105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

He guides us along our path and according to his will. Today, I will be looking at its importance in relation to marital relationship.

Hearing God is key prior to one’s marital journey.

The way God leads us is different from how our flesh will lead us. In a world which idolises flesh, following God is key. I have gone through countless examples where I leaned upon my own understanding which resulted in unnecessary hurt, whereas if I had obeyed God and listened to him, I wouldn’t have experienced such.

When hearing God, patience is needed. God speaks in his own way and his time is not like our own

Isaiah 55:8-9 New International Version (NIV)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

So how we see things is only a fragment of how God sees things. A difficult situation could be frustrating you, whereas the end is a testimony.

I am sure many of us have experienced the great test of patience throughout our lives, let alone in our marital journey. And funny enough, the patience you learn through walking with God will be a blessing within your relationships.

There will be times where neither of you is on the same page, and you will need a great level of patience to understand each other. Even the fact that you are both from different households and are of different genders, that in itself requires great patience and understanding. All of this can be worked on through your relationship with God.

Recently, I realised that in life, God is the centre (the cake) and everything else is the icing. Whatever we learn and practise with God such as love, gentleness, endurance, tender heartedness etc, will be reflected in things around us.

But all of this can only work if one truly knows God. An example of this is in Matthew 16:13-20 , where Jesus asked the disciples “Who do you say I am?”

Matthew 16:13-20 New International Version (NIV)

Peter Declares That Jesus Is the Messiah

13 When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”

14 They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

15 “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?”

16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”

17 Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you that you are Peter,[a] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades[b] will not overcome it. 19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be[c] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[d]loosed in heaven.” 20 Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

If you look at that verse closely, you will see that it is after Peter acknowledges who Christ is that his purpose is later revealed. Many of us are on that same road. We need to know who Jesus is not what he does. Know who the blesser is, and don’t get distracted by the blessings

If you only see him as the blesser and someone you keep taking, that is how you will value others around you. Especially along your marital journey. If you put aside all that God has given you, he remains Lord. And nothing you can do will ever change that. Because it is by his GRACE, you are alive. And you can not ask for Grace, because he freely gives it to those who believe in him and also those who do not.

The more you know him, the more you know yourself, and the more you will know those around you. Every relationship requires time and some level of proximity. This doesn’t change with God.

The way you see God will reflect on how you see others. If you have a problem with loving those around you, then you also have a problem with loving God.

So for those who are single – hearing God is essential as there are many counterfeits. Chai! counterfeits over tire , especially when they can see you are a true child of God. Your gift will attract both good and bad. But God knows the one who will not only compliment you but will align to his will for your life. Not all the fine Bobo you see care about your salvation or even want you to get to heaven. And the same thing goes for you men, not all ladies actually care whether you have bible studies on Monday and midweek service on Wednesday. They are just want to derail you from God’s purpose.

Counterfeits are anything outside God’s timing.
Let me first make that clear. You will know the season you are in. As the bible state

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

King James Version (KJV)


3 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

So, for you to know what season you are in, you need to let God direct you. I read a book called Cover girls by T.D. Jakes and that really explained how everyone goes through a season of Summer, Winter, Autumn and Spring

Everyone has a season they are going through, the devil sends many many MANNNY fine people into our lives especially when we are single. And their aim can be to distract, delay or divert. But you will know them by their fruits. This is why it’s important to be familiar to the Holy Spirit. And allow it to guide you

Abeg, this isn’t a direct hit to fine people. Na our papa and mama born us well o. But, my point is, know what your focus is, and anything that diverts you away from it, ESPECIALLY if it’s outside God’s timing is a counterfeit

By hearing God and renewing your heart and mind with his word, he will help you discern the correct ones from the counterfeits. All they do is come to distract you and delay you.

For those who are courting – hearing God is important as it helps you to focus and to use wisdom. The purpose of courting is to walk towards marriage while understanding the person with God at the centre. Courtship is the preparing before marriage, whatever habits you have in courtship and even in singleness will be amplified when you are married. By hearing God, you will begin to see areas that you should work on. These could be habits such as laziness, indecision, lust, lying etc. By ourselves, it isn’t easy to overcome such things, but with God by our side, all things are possible.

The reason it adds focus is because it will help you remember that it isn’t just you and your partner in the relationship. God is also by your side. So you should make sure your relationship honours him. Two blind people can not lead each other, let God be your eyes. He knows the end from the beginning.

Proverbs 3:6 King James Version (KJV)

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

It helps you to use wisdom as God is the person who can teach you how to love your partner perfectly. You might be doing the right things, but there could be a certain way which really gets their attention. By putting your request to God, he will help you. Especially if he can see your intentions are genuine.

Wisdom is also important as there will be disagreements and heated discussions. You need to know how to handle and deal with your partner when they are upset/stressed/angry. God can help you as we sometimes make the mistake of helping but instead, it adds more flame to the fire.

There are many examples I could give, but at the end of it all, God should be at the centre and he should be your go-to person at every stage of your marital journey.

For those who are married – hearing from God will help with the maintenance of the relationship, with unknown attacks you may have, and also in helping you to love your spouse correctly. It goes without explanation that the devil hates the idea of marriage and will do anything to break it. This is why you need to surround yourself with God’s protection and pray always.

There’s a song that states, the devil learns from our mistakes, even if we don’t. So we need to be a step ahead of the enemy and you can only do so by being prayerful and connected to God. All the enemy needs are one weak hour to sow a seed. But I pray that the mercy of God will work upon your marriage today.

In summary; hearing God along one’s martial journey is crucial. If there’s anything that we all need, is to be able to discern his voice and our own. Because we are sometimes the ones, who put ourselves in greater trouble. God isn’t a man that he should lie. Also by understanding how the enemy hates Christian unity, this is why we need to be very close to our father. He is our shield and protector, and we shall overcome every obstacle through the blood of Jesus Christ!

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